So I have found out, the hard way, life loves to turn you upside down. I am just steps away from losing everything I worked so hard to accomplish. I have lost dear friends due to my own arrogance, malice, and cowardice. I lost a job over an ER visit, which was a misdiagnosis, and due to losing a perfectly good job I am about to lose my house I rent. I have had to rely on people's help to pay my bills which keep piling up. I pawned a good deal of my personal items, just so I could either feed my cats, put gas in my cars, or pay small bills.
Yet through all this chaos I still cannot deny that for some reason or another things always get a little better at a time for me. I found someone who was willing to stand my broken heart (that isn't a stab Savvy/Sean don't take it as one you know better ^-...-^) and put up with my loud energy. He is a little dense at times, rough around the edges a bit, but he is the sweetest thing to me. I have found some new friends, who will never be like the ones I have lost, but help with the hole in my heart. I still have a family who absolutely love me, and will do whatever they can for me. Instead of having a screw loose in my leg tugging on a ligament in my leg I just have arthritis and bone spurs at 20 years old.
I have an interview this coming Tuesday for a security guard position, so woo-who. The only problem is I have no idea how I am going to get to the interview or to training. Something should work out so I can go to the interview though (hopefully). I am slowly becoming more and more excited for the next day to come, slowly shaking of this rut that I have let grow over me. To be honest what I have learned is to not sew my own lips shut and speak my own mind. I will use these wounds to grow up to hopefully find a new beginning, new better me.